Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Interesting info.

Yesterday I found out that I have a low testosterone levels in my body. The doctor wants to do more test on me to find out why this would be happening. I have not been taking anything, doing anything or eating something special that would be doing this. My doctor said this would be causing my "breast to swell". Now I would have to say, if my "breast" were a size, they would possible be an small to medium A cup. For them to really match my body right now, they would need to be a large C or D if not bigger. Of course I don't know what to do with that bit of information given to me.

I am seeing a therapist tomorrow. I have tons to talk about. Don't think I will get it all in, in one session. Really planning on telling her my feelings and what's going on in my mind.

Saturday, July 25, 2009

learning experiences

Yesterday, I did my nails (well really just my hands). I thought I was doing pretty well at it, but oh boy was I wrong. I trimmed my nails to short, the filing was not even and then when it came to painting them, it was never just right. So I remove the polish today and going to let me nails go out a bit and try again later. I guess this is a learning lesson for me.

I did try to clean up certain ares, but not with shaving. I used Nair hair remover. I know the warnings on it and heard about people with bad experiences. Overall it went ok. I removed any remainder hair on be penis and balls and also went back the little space between your balls and ass. Then also removed hair right around my asshole. There may have been a little burning, but it only lasted a few seconds and I rinsed well and it was ok. I don't think I got it all so I will have to go back to remove the rest. If another one of you girls plan on doing it with Nair, get the bikini safe stuff and do it carefully. To a small test area first in that area and if that's ok, go a little further.

Another thing I need to work on is getting down to a more fem weight. Now, my weight isn't all fat, I have a large part of muscle and I want to lessen that greatly. Of course also getting rid of fat too. My goal would be to get to 170 first and then see how I look and them maybe getting down to 140-150ish, maybe less.

My question here is, anyone know of a good way to tailor down my muscle and fat at the same time. I am 5' 10".

Friday, July 24, 2009

Today I plan on trimming and painting nails (I'm thinking clear for hands and maybe a lite pink for toes). Also shave a bit to get some areas cleaned up. Right now I am doing laundry and dishes. Straightening up the apartment

Thursday, July 23, 2009

alone for a few days

Well, I am alone, by myself for the next few days. Right now, relaxing, watching some transgender series on netflix. Sitting in a black g-string. What else can I do? Anyone have some ideas?

Monday, July 20, 2009

Smoothing the roughness

Hair....yuck. If I could just get rid of it all right now I would (of course leaving what on top of my head). I have tried to be smooth before. Usually it starts with a long shaving fest and then the next several days a lot of rash, mainly on my crotch and bum. I've tried things like nair as well, worked a little better, but similar results.

I've recently tried again. I've started by shaving almost daily, but only doing a few areas. The areas I am doing is my penis/balls, chest and face. There were a few days I gave them a break. Seems to be working fairly well. I've noticed the little red bumps on my chest get less and less each time and the same with my penis. Anyone know of a for sure way to stop that or not deal with it?

I have been toying with the idea of waxing. I would like to do that with my ass. Any advise or thoughts with waxing.

All areas I have been putting lotion on at least once if not twice a day. That helps a lot and makes those areas feel that much softer.

If anyone has pointers in this area, would love to hear. I am going to do it over all slowly so I can get used to it (might go faster as time goes, who knows).

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Where to start...

Well, where to begin. My girl's name is Stacey. I am 25 and born of the male gender. My life has been a confusing one for several years. When I was about 8 or 9ish, I was very curious about my mother's clothing. She didn't have the world's sexiest clothes or lingerie. It was a starting point for me. I, as many others like me, would sneak in and try them on. Over the years I was never caught in the act, but she did find out that I was moving things around, so she has some idea. I don't think she really thought to much into it. I wished that maybe that she would come to me and have an open mind and say it's ok, but that's always a double edge sword. Come to find out, she is not fully open to those kind of things.

So over the years I did that without much worry. I started to think, why to girls get to have a variety of choices with clothing and other things. I envied them. Where as most guys checked out girls for if they wanted to "get" with them, I was mainly looking at them for things I would like myself to look like or be. No one close ever knew these secrets about me. I would chat online with random people and of course nothing ever panned out there.

As things moved on, I began to think about other things. I had only ever thought about girls, since that what boys were to think about. I would think about girls, but I started to think about cocks, forced fem, bondage, spanking, Mistress&Master/slave, etc. My mind was thinking about these things at incredible speeds. Sometimes hard to focus on other things.

Stacey started to come out more and wanted to understand herself. And this is why I am here. To understand, explore, listen, ask question, etc.

I am newly married and my wife knows little about any of this part of me. I would love for her to really like this part of me but I haven't been able to get to a point where it seems she would be ok with this.

I will be posting things I think about, sites I like, pictures I like, questions I have and really whatever else I want.....hehe.

Well, here's to what could be something that could help me understand more about myself and maybe make a few friends along the way.

Until next, have fun.