Be like her

Today while eating out with my mother and wife, I noticed a lady (19-25 yrs. old) sitting with a group of people, most likely friends. Everyone was dressed very casual, but she was a little more dressed up. Her hair was shoulder length golden bloude, smooth straight. Had a floral pattern dress that was went just past her knees.(floral pattern doesn't do it justice, it was a very tasteful dress)Over that she had on a short waist length brown jacket. Moving down she had her legs cross, which you could tell were very smooth even from a distance. She had on light moca brown heels. Her face, had make up on, just enough to make her face pop. Her lips and eyes just stood out.

Carefully staring, she was very attractive but more I wanted to look like her, I wanted to be like her. I wanted Stacey to become her.

My Bra size....I think

So I was curious of what my bra size would be. I went out and got one of those sewing flexible tape measures. I looked on a few sites and followed what they said to do. I got 2 different sizes, so maybe someone could clarify which one might be right. Now mind you, I'm not the thinnest in the world (working on that, but being realistic). Here those are:

The measurement under the armpit but above the middle of the bust line and then also the middle bust line said, 50B

The measurement under the middle bust line and then the middle bust line said, 46 or 47c

Mind you I have not taken any hormones or creams or anything else that would increase my breast (at least not that I know of).

Also today, I was trying on some clothes my wife had in the back of the closet. The sizes were 16,17 and 18. To my surprise, some of them fit. I noticed that some I would either need to not wear panties or wear a thong. So I may try to wear some of those around when I am home alone.

I have been trying to keep up with my nails. Two more need to regrow a bit more and then I can trim and file them and then they are good.

If anyone has any ideas or knows which way to measure for sure, let me know.

Bad Girl (not that way)

So I was a little bad today. While visiting my mother's house, I noticed she had a JCPenny's catalog out in her vanity area. After thinking about it a while I decide to take it. This one is the spring/summer one. She already has the new one of fall/winter. Hmmmm, what to do, what to do.....

True me ?

Lately, I have been doing more things. More "fem" things. I have been pluking the hairs around my breast. Putting lotion on them and (to my surprise), they do feel like breast. Now mind you, I wouldn't say they are prefect or (if I go there) where I would like them to be. I also have used Nair under my arms. I may start to shave or wax there (but haven't come to that road yet).

I've been thinking alot about this part of me, trying to figure it all out, for my sake and my marriage sake. A few days back, I posted a question about how I know which are my true feelings. One response stated this "They're inseparable. It's just the guilt that makes you want to de-drag. We're girls. Forever. The guilt is just a slowdown." This really got me thinking. Who am I? What do I want? What do I feel?

I think my true feelings lay with how I think and feel when I'm by myself, out and about, without anyone I really know. How I interact with myself. Not saying that ALL of me, but a large part. Last Friday after work, I just stayed out a little bit. I got a Chi Tea drink and then went to a book place and got a few "female" magazines. Self, Women's Health and Ladies Home Journal. I was barely nervous, if at all. This caught me off guide a little. Maybe it was that the guilt feeling wasn't there or that someone I know wouldn't see me getting that and then ask questions. I don't fully know, but it was nice. I notice my stance seems to be more fem and gentle and same with my hand gestures. These were just some things I noticed about myself during that time.

Continuing to think who I am, I thinking more that I wouldn't call myself a "Sissy boy/girl" or "Slave boy/girl" but maybe think or myself of more a male with a lot of female traits or even a female inside a male body. My thoughts lean toward a female thinking a lot of the times. Also I recently took a test with my therapist and turns out I am more introverted. The category I fall under is ISFJ (Introverted Sensing Feeling Judging). After talking about this, it sounds like this also leans toward that side of female mind set.

Now all of this, I have to take with a grain of salt. I can't make full conclusions just on a few things. What this does is give me a starting point and maybe a little insight into somethings.

I know it sounds like I've asked the same questions over and over through out my post, but each time I feel they are a little different and I understand this and myself a little more.

As always, thanks for reading. Please feel free to comment.

True Feelings?

So here's a question to all you out there. Which are your true feelings, what you think and feel before you climax or the feeling afterwards? I am confused at which is my feeling self feelings. Anyone have some advise, please let us know.

So last night went to a show last night. "The Sound of Music". Good show. There was at one point that one of the actresses came on stage in a black suit with pencil skirt and bright, shiny red 3-4" high heels. They were so good looking that during that part, I really didn't pay attention during that part. I tried to find a picture of something close to them, but none really did them justice.

Still recovering from my nail mess up. While filing the tops of my nails again, my wife began to question why I was doing so much filing. I said because I wanted to.

I don't know what to say. I want to do this, but of course she do not wish me to. So....yeah.